My name is Olympia, um I’m 17 I’m just a regular suburban chick and I am addictedto pretending to be furniture. I think it’s it’s something I’ve just loved doing all my life and it stems from you know one sort of Christmas my auntRosemary sat on me accidentally -she didn’t mean to – and I was frightened The biggest housing struggle was affordability. I was struggling financially, about 70% of… and horrified at first but you know the more that I’ve sort of recalled andremembered it I wish she’d do it again. I have to do it it’s a compulsion.
I’ll be doing you know the washing up – some sort of regular you know day-to-day activity and I’ll remember that I just love beingfurniture and I have to just – have to do it. My name is Nova. I am Olympia’s… let’s say life partner. Olympia is addicted totaking on the roles of various pieces of furniture. Well we live in a very small apartment I just don’t understand how she thinks I don’t know.
She – I don’t Every day, thousands of K-Staters are caring for Kansans behind the scenes. Managing your money, for exam… think she – she has no idea I am very aware of this… I don’t want to say sickness? Hobby? Perhaps? Um, when you’re standing with a lampshade on your headthat’s not inconspicuous. I can’t explain it I don’t expect anyone to understandit I just fucking love it.
You know an armchair, a chaise lounge you know I’m there. It’s getting to the point now where it’s really affecting – affecting meand I’m… you know… I don’t know how I’m going to tell my family and my friend. I’ve got this wonderful partner Nova and she has no idea that I do it. You’re not incognito I can see that you’re standing there with a lampshade on your head. I’m yet to bring this to her attention though I’m, I’m – I’m worried about whatit would be like for our relationship if I brought this up with her so as – as ofright now she doesn’t know that I’m – I’m aware of this.
Um, so, I mean, I’ve brought you here today… I just, um, I have something to tell you Nova. It’s… it’s kind of a big deal I suppose it’s kind of hard for me to say this um(What?) I am addicted to being furniture. (Oh for fuck’s sake) Um, it’s something you know I’ve had tobattle with for a very long time and I know that you never suspectedyou’ve got no idea – Oh I know about the furniture thing that you do. No you don’t know you have no idea. (You do this, this thing…) Basically what I do is…(where you pretend to be furniture) I pretend to be furniture – no you don’t know you don’t – let me just finish please.
Do you honestly think I don’t know?! I’m sorry I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m just addicted to being furniture. I feel it, I am it. I am that armchair. We already have so much furniture what elsecould she possibly turn in to?
Sometimes I feel like she wants me just to sit on her.